a pretty good H to be

prodigal

2006-03-16T00:27:00.000-08:00

anybody still read this?, i've kinda forgotten/neglected to do hardly any internet stuff for several months. Well, maybe it's time to get back to this whole blogging thing. What better activity can there be while waiting to switch over one's laundry?

listen to Television's Marquee Moon LP because you've been missing out since '77.
love, andrew

it's there, but it's crap for now

2005-09-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

the website is in it's first and most primative/crappy stages. There's absolutly no info to find there, but if you want to see what it's looking like, feel free to drop on in.

and please, anyone know how to get rid of that ugly red bar at the bottom of the page, let me know (ehem, brothers)

try, try, again

2005-09-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

so hey folks, if there are more than one of you stll checking in on me. If it's only you, then...hey you...

i had a great little trip to TX last week for time wioth family and a few Dallas friends/aquaintances and, although i like going back to texas for those reasons i gotta say something: Why does anybody move to that state WHen they could live in the Northwest? i mean august just plane sucks in texas, am i right? Well for thse of you still forgetting you have options in life, i will now segue into my next topic.

My hair.

Yes, i gave myself the old Andrew Rudd clippers to the scalp hair cut the other day, only this time something unexpected happened. Going for a swipe around my right ear, the comb attachment (a tasteful 3/4 inch) sprung loose, launching across the bathroom to my surprise. But thankfully i have a strangely quick survival instinct and pulled away from the bared jaws of the machine in hand before it was able to inflict any lasting damage to my freshly exposed roots and bent down to retrieve the runaway comb. Upon standing i realized a sizeable collection of hair had become stuck in and around the clippers' blade area and decided to clean it out. But where had that brush gone?
"It was just here in the sink," he pondered, "but now, vanished. Hmmm maybe it dropped on the floor amidst all the goings on, but i can't see it anywhere. Eh, oh well. Back to clipping."
"Bsssht," said the clippers.
"Geronimo(oooh)!" said several hundred of his little hairs.
"Wha...I can SEE!" cried his scalp.
"ShIIIIT!" exclaimed the fool, immediately beginning to laugh in a genuine baseball-bat-to-the-groin-Bob-Sagat-hosted-funniest-home-video-show sort of way. After a short while however, this laughter turned into silent head shaking looking at oneself in the mirror for too long hoping to find a way to make up for just one of the mistakes he'd made in life. But sometimes, he realized, you just have to wear your Scarlet Letter as unashamedly as you can. At least intil the hair grows back.
So the young man will have a hat on his head for a month or so, but if you see him, just ask and you might be able to have a looksee for yourself.

the new me...

2005-08-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

...is a DotCom

GAAAHSP! i know, what the hell right? i guess it's just the natural next step in my strange approach to hating computers. They way i see it, i need to use them more if i will ever truly know the depths of this hatred. So in an effort to charge into a new realm of frustration and confusion, i give you:

andrewrudd.com

but it wont actually be anything for a couple days, so don't waste your time just yet. This announcement is more like a movie teaser. Just thought i'd whet your appetite first.

Heart is a good band, really

2005-08-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

So, one more trip down south is coming up. This weekend (friday the 19th), Aqueduct is playing a film fest afterparty in Tulsa at the legendary Cain's Ballroom. oh yeah!

But then i get to go back to Tejas for a week of family fun, and a lot of painting of the shop in my folks' backyard. This is goo because i am broke. Yes, litterally. In fact, as a friend of a friend said to a homeless guy once, "Do you have debt? No? Well then you've got more money than me, pal."

But the Lord has been blessing me and for this i am thankful.

So, i'm looking forward to seeing those of you who i will get to see over the next several days. Anyone from Fayettevile feel like driving to Tulsa?

you want wood...gotta pay for wood.

2005-07-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

don't worry, you're not supposed to know what that means. So last night i went to see The Western States and Damien Jurado at the Vera Project. The states are comprized of two buddies of mine, Cameron and Nick. Damien is just that, himself. Damien played about 92% new songs and two from Rehearsals For Departure, a great record by the way. And the new ones, probably on his upcoming record, were good too. He appologized before one song because it's his first song with cursing in it, and he thought for a while that he should change the word, but just couln't let it go. Sometimes it takes a certain word at the right moment to really get the meaning across, and i think it worked for this song.

what i got

2005-07-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

Even in Texas it's sometimes hard to get to a computer, especially when there's a family around you that loves you, and you them, much more than said computer. This week has been tiresome and touching. Mopsy is gone now and we are all grieving this loss. But to be together with so much of the family is pretty empowering in its own right. All these relationships are so important and i'm still learning what an amazing family i have been born into. Sometimes in Seattle i forget about them, overwhelmed with the daily grind and my own life's pursuits, and i start to think that my little life is so incredibly important. But it's when i come home and spend true moments with my family, and i'm talking everyone from my parents to siblings to aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and of course, niece, i really start to miss them and see that it's not my life that's important. It is the life we live, knowing and acting on the knowledge that we are not alone, not isolated beings meant to protect ourselves from each other. Nor protect each other from ourselves. Mopsy still has things to show me. Her love for her family was beyond imagination and she can still bring us together, even in her absence. Her laughter is still in us and we sure did giggle a lot this week. Somebody said of her mentality the other day, "Perfection can wait, let's laugh about it now."

This place is Science Fiction

2005-07-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

Two weeks without internet in the house is T-U-F-F! That on top of working on this boat every day and for the first time, knowing why so many working class men come home and crack open a cold one before they settle into their evening. i mean i am BEAT. Plus, the past week it sems that everyone i know is moving except me. in four days i've helped six people move. i think it's over for now.

So i'm downtown at the library with our new roommate, Sam. He's cool, laid back, and an over-all solid-seeming guy. And we get along great. The Aqueduct house is not the Aqueduct house anymore now that Dave and Rachel moved out. And i think it's good that we're separating living space from band space. Space is good for people.

So for those not in the know, i'm working on Chtis Barnes' parents' boat for the summer. It's all
scraping/sanding/painting/varnishing/polishing/organizing/trashing/loading/hauling/tying/taping/talking/cutting(myfingers)/crawling/hanging/climbing/cursing/improvising/challenging work that i feel incrediby lucky to have. i'm pretty good at this sort of thing, but i need the experience to be great at it. Plus i know squat about boats and i want to learn all i can. Considereing that the Barnes' have been shopping for a boat for over a year, i give a lot of thanks to God for the timing of this job. i was only unemployed for one week. And there's enough work with the boat to keep my busy for at least another month. Pobably into august too.

And i think i've found a church. i've been going to this place less than five miles from home called Bethany and it jst feels right. All except for the assistant pastor who spoke last week, but i think he'll learn in time. The main pastor preaches the Bible and i like his way. i've actually looked forward to going every week for once.

On monday the band is heading up to Victoria B.C. by way of the ferry to play on a barge floating in Puget Sound off shore of downtown. It'll be my first non-american Independence Day, but something tells me we'll still have fireworks and all that. Tourists.

My Email Address

2005-06-12T13:44:00.000-07:00

andrew@rearviewwindow.com

i realized that the comment page doesn't post email addresses, so here's mine. Anyone else will have to post theirs in the same field that they write their comment, or you can tell me how to fix the problem. Arise Software Jocks!

please pray for me

2005-06-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

here's whats going on as of today:

i don't have a job at the bakery any more. yesterday was my last day because i was filling in for someone who's been out of town, and now they're back. i'm planning on teaching whatever percussion lessons i can this summer and my goal right now is 15 lessons a week. That;s how many it looks like i'll be able to survive off of. Yes, i expect to make some money this summer from aqueduct gigs, but i don't know how much and we're aren't playing that much, so i'm trying to get started as a private lesson teacher. i realized last night that the only, and i mean only, thing that's got me scared about teaching is my wrist pain. And although it isn't gone completely, i'm dealing with it much better these days than i have in a long time. And i'm very close to truly believing i can soon be living without the fear of pain. But i still am anxious about teaching for that reason. More specifically, my wrist pain has dramatically effected my confidence, not only as a muician, but as a person as well. And it is confidence that i need greatly if i am going to start teaching. So pray for me if you will.

The LORD does not let the righteous go hungry,
but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.
A slack hand causes poverty,
but the hand of the diligent makes rich.
He who gathers in summer is a prudent son,
but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame. (proverbs 10:3-5)

i read this this morning and let's just say, i feel motivated.

...and sometimes i have a few drinks...

2005-05-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

i hardly ever drink much, especially out on the road. Mainly because i don't want to get sick and be hung over in the herky jerky van all day. And i don't want it to intrfere with my playing. But every once in a while it happens that i turn around and the next moment, i'm drunk. Not the embarassing old man hollering at cute young girls, falling in the mud, making ass out of self drunk, but definitely the stay away from dangerous weapons like knives and car keys drunk.

Last night we played Phillie, PA and got to hang out with some of our Seattle friends from another band. They're called The Catch and are on tour right now also. We all stayed out really late and drank our fill for sure. But thankfully there was enough food and water around to soak up the alcohol so that we aren't too terribly ill this morning. Tonight's the last night of Pinback tour, so it would suck to feel a bit off (Sorry, i've been hanging around the Irish all week too; the opening band, the Dudley Corporation, have such delightful accents.

think i'll go to Boston today.

it's okay

2005-05-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

So the shows are nearing an end on this tour anyway. We're going to Philly tonight and Boston tomorrow,then flying to Seattle on Friday for Sasquatch on Saturday. Yeah, old news. Last night we played NYC at Irving Plaza and again it was great. However, i had my first "Glarer" last night. This kid, between 16 and 21 i'm guessing, just wasn't having a good time. And he was right on the front row, obviously staking out a good spot to watch Pinback. Abouth our 3rd song, inoticed him glaring right at me like he wanted to burn holes through my head with his eyes. So i glared right back and he looked away, but got increasingly irritated throughout the remainder of our set. everyone around him hada great time including his friends, but he wasn't budging. So i really laid on the smiles in his behalf. What a fun night!

why am i watching PUNK'D in tulsa?

2005-05-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

for 36 1/2 hours, dave and i drove our sweet rental van from Seattle to Tulsa. We got here at noon today and we're leaving at midnight. i know, it's not a typically wise departure time, but we've got a couple more drivers with us now, and we've gotta be in Florida by tuesday evening.

Speaking of the rental van, it;s got an X Box and DVD player and a ton of power outlets, not to mention runs like a dream.
yeah, we ARE rock and roll.

you wanna piece of me?

2005-05-03T18:28:00.000-07:00

called my old boss today at the bakery, and it looks like i'll be taking three or four shifts while i'm here. it's not much, but at least it's something. maybe i'll be able to sell some plasma or something. anybody know the pros and cons of that profession?

last night i watched the original amityville horror in preparation for the remake, in theatres now. it was good, pretty scary at times, although it would have been much better with a sexy lady clutching my arm, her face buried in my shoulder hoping this sort of thing will never happen to OUR dream home...well yeah, i think about girls sometimes, too.

...im back in seattle aga...aa...aain...

2005-05-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

HOme for two weeks, then we hit the road for nine east cost shows with Pinback. Yeah, it never stops.
But in short, i'm most likely getting my old job back for acouple weeks until i leave again. THere's a help wanted sigh in the window and i think that means they want my help. i don't really want to go back to work but i kinda have to, so it's nice to have the opportunity.
Me personally:
i feel pretty good these days. My tendenitis is always fluctuating in pain but i've had so many positive experiences with mental healing like relaxation and confidence-building thoughts as well as just accepting the way things are and letting it do its thing. It's hard to explain and believe me, i still want to cry about plenty, but i've still got so much hope that all will be healed some day.

Today is (niece) Judah's 2nd Birthday. ANd boy do i regret living so far away right now. Thanks so much for the photo, Kristen. With my wallet closed, her face is forever mashed up against my drivers license picture, and if that's as close as i can get to giving her kisses, then i'll take it.

Happy Birthday Judah! (somebody tell her for me please)

delivery: sausage pizza and coke

2005-04-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

After a sextuple-encore show last night in Denver, we're heading out this afternoon for Los Angeles. i don't know how long that drive will be, but it will certainly be too long. But everything's good in the end, right? We're p[laying the Knitting Factory for an all ages crowd, and i don't expect anything but a great show.

In other news, i read a book a couple weeks ago, given to me by buddy Joel B. Goodin, called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller (i think). On the cover it says "Non-religious thoughts on Christian Spirituality" as the topic. It was an entertaining, quick read, but also had meat on the bones. i'd recommend reading it if you're into reading books that i like...oh, pizza's here...

Three days, no shower, same undies

2005-04-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

Tour's almost over. Today's saturdar so that makes one week exactly before we roll into Seattle for our last show. Yesterday i found out that we're playing the middle stage at Sasquatch, a big music fest at the Gorge in George, WA. We go on at noon, which is early, we were originally supposed to play the local stage at 12:30 pm, so this is much better crowd-wise. That's on May 28th (or whatever saturday is), the same weekend my brother graduates from high school. Sorry i can't be there, bro.

When last i posted, we had just hooked up with another band, The Golden Republic, for a leg of the tour. Tonight is our last show together, in Omaha. i must say, we've been blessed time and time again with great bands to tour with, and the are certainly no exception. In fact, these guys are some of the best dudes i've met in years. Oh and did i mention? ...They're a great band to boot! So if you see they're coming through your town, go watch them. i'm really going to miss these boys.

Last night they took us out for drinks at a, yes i'll say it, SWANK bar. That shit aint cheap. Getting sick of beer every night, well, most every night, i've been trying out some new forms of alcoholic meriment. Topshelf bourbon is quite nice i must say. And you make it last; it's a sipping beverage. In fact a single glass lasted longer than the cigar i was enjoying, and the flavors do blend quite well. ANyway, they showed us a good. THis post is long enough.

go tarheels!

2005-04-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

we're in Chapel Hill, NC today and the the streets are dusted with powder blue T-shirt-wearing tarheels fans. They're playing tomight, but it doesn't matter to me that much.
the Northeastern leg of our tour has been incredible and now we are heading down saouth again to Atlanta. The past couple of days have been tiresome for me; i think i'm geting a little homesick and road weary. But i do love the road and getting to play for so many people.

In DC the other day, i got to hand out with Alyson Thomas, one of my best friends from my teen years. It had been a really, really long time since we've had any contact and i didn't have a clue what to expect. You know how it is with old friendships, people change a lot sometimes. But i hung out with Alyson and her boyfriend, Steve, all evening and had a really great time. They're such good folks and i'm glad i got to see them, even though they were late to our show and only saw the last song. Yeah, you're on thin ice, you two.

Ohio!

2005-03-24T16:16:00.000-08:00

welcome again from the road. We're having fun and great shows to boot. South By Southwest was really great, and the two shows we played were full of enthusiastic folks.

i know i haven't written anything about us being on Conan last month, but hopefully everyone knows about that. Looks like Aqueduct is going to be back on NBC in a couple weeks, this time on Carson Daily. the show airs Tuesday April 5th and it comes on after Conan. Geeze... What's going on?
So, three months on the road seems like a long time, and ruely it is. But we're over half way done, and it's really a good time. i feel like we've grown as a group, personality wise as well as playing together. And i'm getting better at road life too. Thanks to everybody who's come out to the shows. you make it worth it all.

gotta go to the the club now.

it's snowing an ass load in Michigan

2005-03-12T00:44:00.000-08:00

okay, it's been a long time. Sorry, but i''m not making any excuses, i'm touring.

It's been great, a ndn maybe when i have an hour i;ll write more about it. Basically, i'm just going to say that my phone won't charge and i think i need a new battery, so if youre trying to call me, you won't be able to. But if it's crazy-necessary, you can leavea comment here, and i'll get back to you. love you all, see you

house is in session

2005-02-16T22:15:00.000-08:00

Ahh, tonight we're in Tuscon AZ. Whish could be a bad thing, if we weren't playing and staying at the Hotel Congress! This hotel has been in business since the 1930's and there's a venue, cafe/restaurant, lounge, and beauty salon downstairs. Our room is directly above the venue and there's another show going on right now (we were the early all ages show). But you know, it's kinda cool. ok, more to come.

...all hail the mighty state

2005-02-10T01:53:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow we enter Texas. It's not that i think texas is oh so amazing, but it does obviously mean a lot to me. My whole family is there as well as a few long-time friends. And this time, i'm picking up my new car! Mopsy, my gramma, is giving me Grandaddy's car and. He passed away in November and i feel very honored and blessed by this gift. i'm finishing out the tour in my new car (with chris as co-pilot) and the other dudes will be in the van.

We've also got a newcomer to the road: Matt Nader who used to play drums for Aqueduct is with us for the rest of February, only now he's taking the role of guitar hero. It's been a nice addition so far and i hope we can have him more in the future. well, goodnight.

Home Field Advantage

2005-02-06T01:37:00.000-08:00

this is how tours are supposed to be. So far, excluding some rediculously long overnight drives, the tour has been great. We're in the South, and the South seems to love Aqueduct quite a bit. Tomorrow Chris and i will be dropped off in Fayetteville for a couple days of R&R and we play there on tuesday, so ftown friends, i'll see some of you for SuperBowlSunday! what are the odds?

Goodbye January

2005-01-31T13:57:00.000-08:00

Well the wrists are feeling alright as of the last couple few days (like that southern talk, doncha?). Thanks for the prayers. i've got good feelings about it all for the tmie being and i'm learning how to still rock out Aqueduct style while keeping the strain under control. Hey, i forgot to mention before that we performed three songs on air at one of the local commercial rock stations, 107.7 The End. It was really fun and really wierd. But the DJ is really into the new record and had nothing but compliments to say over the air. With that, along with all the press we've gotten this month (Spin magazine, RollingStone.com, Alternative Press, The Stranger, CMJ,and a handful of online mags, the next three months of shows may be getting bigger in a hurry. We're leaving tonight at midnight and driving to Salt Lake City. Aside from my empty suitecase and unmade bed, i'm basically ready to go. So here's the list:
Books: kind of blue (still haven't finished)
fast food nation (to deter me from eating said food)
ishmael (it's been recommended for long enough)
Magazine: Modern Drummer
Music: Al Green, Ray Charles, Marvin Gaye, and as many new soul records as i pick up along the way.
Art Blakey
Mogwai
Neutral Milk Hotel
Public Enemy
as well as the us(u) that's "usual" abbreviated, and lots of good tunes that Jay brought. He made a ten-disc mix for this tour. oh yeah.

So check the schedule to see if we're coming your way, and "be excellent to each other!"

for those who pray...

2005-01-27T01:01:00.000-08:00

It's been over four years since i developed tedinitis in my wrists, and although i'm playing music regularly, it's far from healed. Pain and stiffness are a daily annoyance for me, and it gets me down right depressed to think of how i once could play without worrying. i don't know what to do. it all feels hopeless sometimes, but i know in my depths that there certainly is hope. So if anybody feels like praying for health in my wrists, i'd be much abliged. It's a rotten thing to keep for so long.

We're about to go out on tour for a month, if not two or three months, and there is always a part of me that gets anxious about wrist health during a tour, especially in the days leading up to departure. It's wierd, i've been praying for so long and have been prayed for so many times. And sometimes i feel like, "This is it, i'm going to be healed!" But it hasn't happened. And i find myself thinking that it never will. By that i mean that no miraculous moment of healing will ever take place. There once was a time when a display of true faith would grant a man or woman instant miraculous healing and people talked about it and wrote about it. A guy named Jesus got in trouble with the church for it. But anyway, i find myself trying to learn how to work the system to get God to heal me, looking at the examples in the Bible and trying to follow their lead. But it gets me nowhere. Because it is not in anything that i do, so no man can boast, but by the grace of God alone. So i guess my prayer is that he'll show me mercy and loosen my withered hands. Then again, why should i expect to be healed when his children are dying and sufferring in such greater ways than i all around the world? These are the questions that bug the shit out of me.
Geeze! Now i get what Jeff Tweedy's singing on "Can't Stand It" when he screams, "No love's as random as God's love. I CAN'T STAND IT! I CAN'T STAND IT!" (Wilco's "Summerteeth")
It's easy to feel that way, though i don't necessarily think it's true. Ugh... i have been weak and pissed off today. It's comforting to think that Jesus' disciples were fools too.

diddle-parra-flam-flam

2005-01-25T13:41:00.000-08:00

Had a drum lesson yesterday, and oh how i've missed lessons. Not that this guy was flawless or anything; at times i felt like he didn't care about my personal musical life/interests, but he did give me an extra 20 minutes for free so all the talking and expaining of his methods was not on my dollar. Overall, i think a few things regarding my technique will greatly benefit from the lesson. i've got some grip and motion ideas to focus on, as well as hao hard i play vs. what's necessary for the music. i definitely don't need to play as hard as i sometimes do. So i hope to get more lessons after the tour, whether with him or someone else. But i really had a good time.

Oh yeah, and the new Aqueduct fell lenght "I Sold Gold" comes out today!

hope i didn't snore

2005-01-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

Good thing to do before visiting a new church:

get some sleep.

i was falling asleep hard-core in church this morning, to the point that every time i nodded off, i'd wake beck up only to find the preacher's eyes staring right at me. It was bad. So after the sermon while they were singing again, i ducked out, found coffee, and hit the road. Sorry guys but there wasn't much keeping me awake anyway.
This was a Presbyterian (sp?) church and i'd never been to one before. Lots of liturgy and lot hymns reworked into poppy yet monotone modern praise songs played by a nine or so piece orchestra sounding an awful lot like Belle and Sebastian. That wasn't necessarily the bad part, but i just couldn't help missing bouncy 6/8, old lady falsetto slightly out of tune "...And He walks with me and He talks with me. And He tells me I am His own..." from my childhood. i think it's safe to say that 4/4 rock beats are the new handbell choir.
But honestly, for me church has never been about these things. These things will always bug me just because they do. i was mainly waiting for the sermon. i just like hearing someone speaking about God's word and what it means to them. But as soon as that began, i was out. Eh, maybe i'll try them again another time. but what i'd really like to find is a house church. God just seems so untameable to me and organized churches tend to leave me feeling sterilized. What happenned to being washed in His blood?

homeward bound

2005-01-23T02:12:00.000-08:00

i'm going to a new church tomorrow. Lord, lead the way.

long post

2005-01-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

It's beginning to look as if by the end of April, Aqueduct will have covered just about all of this fine land we call America (that is, the u.s.). Nothing after february is set in stone but we trying to get to the east coast this spring, so stay tuned.

i've got a drum lesson set up for next week with a guy who seems to have his shit together. He knows a little about my history and we 're going to have a 45 minute lesson before i hit the road. It will be nice to get an outside view on my playing since i haven't had a lesson since college; more importantly, since my wrist injuries. If things go well i'd like to take lessons from him once or twice a month to really focus on my musical development. i'm beginning to see how my wrists have effected so much in my life. i lost so much of myself when i couldn't play music anymore, and trying to get it back has been such a scary, humbling, and infuriating journey. i'm scared because i don't know if i'll ever be able to play with the freedom i once had. Humbled because of the skills i took for granted all those years. Angry because my thirst for complete emersion in music is never quenched (in many ways due to my fear and feeling sorry for myself). When i think about the ways i want to explore music, it often ends in depression because i see so much of my own limitation, like starting to write a song only to put down the guitar after a few minutes because my hand aches, or even worse, not playing the guitar at all. Recovery is hard on the mind. i don't know when i'll play fearlessly again.
But i'm getting there, and getting educated. For now i just try to get a little better each day.

It's also been very trying on my faith, but i think that's for another post. Not so much to the effect of losing my faith, but on the connections between faith and healing, and the ways some people think you can get God to do anything for you if you ask right and act right. Faith isn't a sport that you play by the rules and come out on top by using the best strategy. Faith is putting on a blindfold and jumping into the Grand Canyon because God said,"i'm down here and i'll catch you." Sometimes i feel like i'm still deciding which blindfold to wear, as if that were the important part.

okay, so i WAS kidding.

2005-01-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

Turns out that the O.C. has been pushed back a week due to the holiday season. They forgot to tell us until yesterday, so you'll have to watch next thursday instead.

*thursday the 2oth/FOX/8pm on the west coast (check local listings)*

i also found out today that the "pistols at dawn" ep has already outsold the original aqueduct record "power ballads" Not bad for less than 3 months on the shelves. Guess that's score one for distro, promo, and record label.

We've got another show with Viva Voce in Prtland this weekend. It will be great to see those kids again. They're lots of fun. alright, out.

It's a beautiful morning

2005-01-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

we've had nothing but clear, and i mean clear, sunny skies all week, but it's been cold as balls!
So finally today it's cloudy and it sounds like snow is on the way. It won't be much but i'll take anything.

been falling asleep listening to lately:
*Low "things we lost in the fire"
*Miles Davis "birth of the cool"

Mark your calendars: Thursday January 13th; watch the FOX teen drama "The O.C." if you want to hear an Aqueduct song on national television. No, i'm not kidding.

and here are the february tour dates.

illing without a license

2005-01-04T13:16:00.000-08:00

The new year always brings new sickness, but usually not until February. Yesterday and today i find myself ahead of schedule by one month: sneezing, dripping, sniffing, blowing. Did i already say sneezing? It's okay though because i only tend to get sick once a year, and this ain't nearly as bad as last year. So far i'm still okay to go to work, and i'll probably break the hand washing record due to the impending snot smearing.

Yesterday i organized my drum corner in our basement. Now i've got all my books and some play-along CD's in a shelf and i got a music stand too. i know i'm a band nerd, but to me it's cool. But i'm getting back into educational mode and i want to start teaching soon. There;s so much to remember and a lot left to learn. There's a Jazz guy who teaches a few blocks from my house and i'm going to try to get a lesson with him next week. It's been so long since i had any instruction on my instrument; i'm excited and kinda nervous.

F e l i z A n~o N u e v o

2005-01-03T11:13:00.000-08:00

If i've gotten too used to living in a big house with only one other person over this holiday season, i'll have to learn pretty quick to let go of privacy. Chris has ben back for a week, Wes gets back tomorrow and Dave and Rachel in the next day or two. Plus long-time Arkansas friend, "What the Hell, Katie Naill" is moving in as well! This is just temporary until she finds her own place. But we've been hoping she'd move to Seattle for a long time and just as it looked like it would never happen, the job here opened up and she's on her way.

In other news, Aqueduct is getting ready to hit the road in February in support for the new full length record, "i sold gold!" (applause...) We're doing a week with the Starlight Mints and then we meet up with The Mates of State for 15 shows, which brings us back to the northwest and includes shows in Vancouver and Victoria, B.C. This excites me. One month from start to finish, and then we're back out in March for South By SouthWest in Austin, TX. Tour dates will be on the website soon, as well as Barsuk's.

cashing in on my ignorance

2004-12-30T11:32:00.000-08:00

Today is the day that i broke ties with the wicked Providian Bank. i used their credit services for a short time ONLY to get 0%apr for a balance transfer for a year. i figured it would be nice to stop collecting interest on part of my debt, and it's hard to go less than ZERO. But they found a way to turn ZERO into almost 20% in about a month, and my $700 balace grew into $750 in the blink of an eye, even though i was making more than the minimum payment each month. i never even activated the card! Then i found some other folks online that had been "scammed" by Providian and i knew it had to stop. Anyway, to shorten the story, i transferred that balance to a new account (thru my own bank) and it's all over. Now they are sending me a refund check and the account is officially terminated. Good riddance.

i don;t really know what to do at this point; i'd like to get all activistical and smoke the're asses. But credit and finances are a bitch and a headache (respectively), and i'm just glad to be done with those bastards.

On a lighter note, i've been reading the Real Live Preacher book and am quite enjoying his words. Thanks JO.
other books still being ingested are:
kind of blue (miles davis stuff)
raggamuffin gospel (drity christian stuff)
lemony snicket's series of unfortunate events (kids' stuff)
misc, drum books/magazines (geek stuff)

all shook up, a'wuh huh

2004-12-28T11:45:00.000-08:00

i decided to open the newspaper that usually collects somewhere between the sidewalk and our recycling bin this morning to see what's been going on lately. Evidently, sunday morning saw the worl's largest earthquake in 40 years, a 9.0, on an island south of Asia, which led to a tsunami that has killed about 25,000 folks. That and another car/suicide bomb blast has further disrupted the upcoming Iraqi election, killing at least 9 and causing a major party to drop out of the race.

i can see why more people don't read the paper in the morning; what a way to start your day.

But i think it's pretty important to know. While it's true that ignorance is bliss, it's also just one click away from indifference. The less i know, the less i realize there is to know. And this is why knowledge shakes people up so much. As soon as they see the spectrum grow, they get weary about the journey into that spectrum and often times just try to ignore what they've seen. It's a way to cope, i guess. But do we live just to cope, just to deal with stuff and try to get by? No! Why else would people spend their lives trying to cure cancer, or master an instrument? okay, coming back down now. Enough of the big questions and whatnot. news papers, information, the truth, the lies. How can i know what's real and what's manipulation? i've watched a number of documantaries this week, many of them related to the war and the media's coverage thereof, and each of them has an agenda af some sort. It's impossible to take action without an agenda. Why else would you make a documentary?
you know, i'm just going to cut myself off right there because i'm losing focus. This has been another episode of "a conversation with myself." Thanks for reading.

oh, and my email seems to have gone to shit, so my apologies to anyone awaiting a reply. All in due time. adieu.

La primera Navidad sin una familia...

2004-12-26T15:05:00.001-08:00

...fue okay.
That is if you treat like any other day off of work, when all your roommates are out of town, and there;s no way your going to get a couple a good tacos. It wasn't until i called the folks in Waco and felt the family energy resonating in my ear that i really knew i was in the wrong house. Working is simply no excuse for missing a family holiday.

But hey, what does andrew do life isn't perfect? He watches movies. And good ones at that. So far, in chronoloigical order, the films i've watched for the past two days are as follows:
1/ Dawn of the Dead (2004 version)
2] Standing in the Shadows of Motown (documentary)
3! Ray (great moie/sort of biography)
IV} The Life Aquatic (wes anderson)
cinco~ Outfoxed (documentary/leftist propaganda (bill o'riely is a turd sandwich. please watch him and find out for yourself))
6> Crowfilm (black n white unnarrated footage of crows put to music and called a documentary short)
7; Art Blakey: Jazz Messenger (documentary)

That about does it.
oh yeah and i played a lot of drums. i think i could definately get used to living alone in a two-story four bedroom house.
All in all, it's been a fine time, until i saw the pictures of judah and the gang from yesterday. i just don't need to miss any more of that.

Viva! viva voce

2004-11-16T04:49:00.000-08:00

tonight was the last night on tour wit Viva Voce. They sure were a pleasure to play and hang with. Gladly, we'll be back with them in for a show in early December(hopefully enough time for Kevin's toe to heal; he dropped a 22" ride cymbal on his big toe after the show. it may be broken. that's poopy). They should be rolling into their Portland home in a few hours, but we're still in LA for one last show. One last show until we get to hit the >1100 mile jont up to Seattle. But it's always nice to go home.
To anyone who reads this/who i got to see during this tour: Thanks for including us/me in your day. It means an awful lot to see friends and fam around the country; especially when my laundry is dirty!
it's 5am. a little past my bedtime. goodnight

A Day in LA

2004-11-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

Traffic
Fish Tacos
Beach
Traffic
The Knitting Factory and their completely unhelpful service staff, but the promoters were cool
Stumbling upon a Russian four-member female pop group and outdancing all their fans
Old man and young "Dude looks like a lady" prostitute at the old 7-11
4 more days, what ele can we possibly do?

Donde estan Los Muertes?

2004-10-31T09:47:00.000-08:00

i know today is All Hallow's Eve, but yesterday was surely the celebration. Aqueduct's CD release party, along with U.S.E. and Travis Morrison, was just about the best thing anyone could have been attending last night. i'm still having sudden moments of thoughts like, "that was us up there? that was me?! It was intimate and it was explosive all in the course of a 45ish mintue set. Times like this that i realize how lucky i am to be here, i'm proud of this band.

So we're coming to a town near you. Thks in advance to all the folks who come out for our shows, i can't wait to see you and serenade you. And keep your eyes aas well as ears out for Travi Morrison. He (and his band) are the other new faces on Barsuk Records and thier show is the first i've seen of its kind; two vocalists, three keyboardists, a drummer, and a percussionist, and there ain't a shabby musician in sight. You can but the record anywhere Barsuk stuff is sold, including their website.
okay, now for the traveling musician's book list:
*Leaning How To Die: the story of Wilco (almost finished) by Greg Kot
*Kind Of Blue: the making of a masterpiece
*A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket
*The Wilco Book by Wilco
*The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning (thanks Rosie)
*Holy Bible by God (via a few of His peeps)

i wish i were actually reading a book called Holy Bible, By God! that would be a funny title.

Musical highlights from my road collection:
*Sufjan Stevens Michigan and Seven Swans
*every Wilco record (including the 12 unreleased tracks that came with the Wilco Book)
exept A.M. (don't own that one yet)
*Travis Morrison's Travistan
*Loose Fur (a Jeff Tweedy/Glen Kotche/Jim O'Rourke project and an essential builing block for Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
*Miles Davis Kind of Blue and many other jazz records, both for pleasure and for study
*Brian Wilson Pet Sounds and Smile. Geese, my ears will be blessed.

it's what's for dinner

2004-10-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

just how much bullshit do we eat, never realizing it will kill us?

got this off J&K's blog.

i thought my bladder was going to explode

2004-10-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

It's not a good idea to drink half of your daily water intake an hour before bedtime. i learned that one this morning when my abdomenal pain tore me out of an enjoyable sleep.
i'm only writing because we're at a place with computers, so please excuse the pointlessness of my openning statement.
Well, no Letterman tonight; they only have tickets available Mon thru Thurs, and being Fri, we're out of luck. Same with the Daily Show. Stinkin late night TV personalities and their 3-day weekends. Well, make it good, folks. see yas.

Heroes and Villains

2004-10-14T20:17:00.000-07:00

Two days in NYC, Two shows in NYC, Three pooped out Seattle rockers out for a night on the town.
Hello from an internet cafe. This is somewhat therapeutic for me right now, i don't have o talk to anyone, don't have to walk 14 blocks, hail any cabs, dash into any subways, or stand in any crowded rooms watching any bands. Not that any of these things are bad, but a guys got to sit down at computer with coffee once in a while. So, rest assured that we're loving New York and Melting the faces off of those lucky enough to make it out to our shows. It's going really well so far.
Got to eat Pizza with Paul Wardein and DJ Ed tonight. And Ed's mustache. Man, those things are totally in style here, it's weird. ok, i'm out.

red eye to new york

2004-10-10T13:32:00.000-07:00

That's right, i finally get to say that: "i'm taking the red eye to New York tomorrow." But now Wes and i are going to get Indian food and shop at Target. He just got oput of the shower and i have to go now.
Check out the updated Aqueduct site. ehem, now.

shitting

2004-10-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

i won't tell you how we got there, what path our conversation took to end up on the topic, but last night one of my Mexican friends at work, Alvaro, suddenly said, "You know, when someone is shitting on you?"
'What?!" i replied. We were talking about the movie Cold Mountain, not the forced adornment of fecal matter.
"Shitting," he said again. This time i laughed at the absurdity of it all, and , shooting my thumb in the dirction of the bathroom, squatted and made a farting sound.
"You mean like 'en el bano?' Taking a shit?"
Now he was the one wearing the look of bewilderment. So as i often do when he and i talk about our lengual differences, i reached for paper and pen, and wrote "shittng." He was still confused but said, "Yeah. Shitting...cheating."
Now i was laughing even harder. i mean think about it, the way Mexicans say "sh" and "ch", and how they say "i" and "ea" make these two words pretty hard to decipher between. But after a short tutorial he had a grip on it. That is, he had to raise his eyebrows and physically move his finger forward as he puched, i mean pushed through the "ea" sound. It was some funny cheat, man.

i hike, therefore i ache

2004-10-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

i finally went hiking yesterday. just a relaxing 9 mile stroll up a mountain, you know, easing my way back into it. talk about beauty. talk about sore legs. on the trail we passed a handful of old mine shafts (which we were too chicken to venture into seeing as we had no lights), walked through a couple landslide areas, and found two incredible camp sites. i'l definately be going back there soon.

Missing the War

2004-09-30T13:20:00.000-07:00

i've been struck by music the past week or so, again. This time the blows to my skull are are stemming from the conductive arm of Brian Wilson. In preparation for his new album Smile, which i should be receiving tomorrow, i bought The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds last weekend and dove in head first. i don't want to tell you how good it is. i don't want you to hear it from me. What i want is for you (who like me, thought you had some good CDs in your collection, but knew something was still missing) to go out and but it. Buy the mono version, or the mono plus stereo version, just make sure you get the mono version. (!) . okay, enough imparatives.

Chances are, i'm the only one who needed to but this record, but if there's even only one of you out there who heeds this call, it will have been worth it.

i'm also reading Learning How To Die: the story of wilco. By Greg Kot. Just a chapter and a page into it and i feel like a kid at his first rock concert.

So, with all this musical excitement in my life, i am a little disheatrened. HEaring good music makes me want to play good music. i listen in awe and in admiration, and imagine ways to do what these heroes of mine are doing. This wrist injury business really gets me down sometimes and other times just keeps me from grabbing a guitar or sticks, or sitting at the piano. i do these things anyway,but not as much as i think i would were it not a painful ordeal. But i can't escape my love of music. i have always been lazy and whiney, two things that are not so good for the healing process. So here's to getting off asses and making positive changes.
oh yeah, and listen to Pet Sounds.

they say those orange slice candies will never go bad

2004-09-22T13:56:00.000-07:00

well, it's all going to be fine in the end. i've worked it out with the seller and they're going to give me my money back. Sadly, i'm sure i'll just have to eat the shipping costs myself, and, sadly, i have to wait longer for another 4-track to come my way. But it'll work out i'm sure.
So, Aqueduct, CMJ, NYC, October. We're taking the east coast by irrigational storm in a little less than a month. If you want, you can check out our tour schedule on Barsuk's website. And go there just so you are reminded that we are now on one of the greatest labels around.
All this will be followed by a tour in November with Viva Voce, so we may be stopping by in a town near you.

Oh Piss!!!!

2004-09-09T11:10:00.001-07:00

Got my 4 track in the mail yesterday, and i felt like a little kid at christmas. For real, i actually was throwing around the newspaper from the box, excited and smiling and thinking it was christmas. i don't even feel that way when it is christmas. So i go downstairs and set it up and start recording. Wow, sounds good through headphones...Wow, easy to use...Wow, easy to switch to playback, but... What? sounds like Aunt Mayble farting through a paper towel roll??! NO!!
Oh Piss!!!
Something is dreadfullt wrong with my new toy. i've already written a detailed letter to the seller so it's down to waiting until we figure out this mess.
Now i feel like the kid who got nothing but itchy wool underwear from Aunt Mayble for christmas. And i have to sit there and listen to her fart through a paper towel roll. piss.

Gear Aquisition Syndrome

2004-09-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

Oh the excitement of waiting for new toys in the mail. i should be receiving a Tascam 424 4-track recorder and an Alesis NanoCompressor within the next week!!! i've been wanting these for years now, and so finally broke down and did some Ebaying. Total cost so far: only $22o. Considering they'd cost me almost $5oo new, i'd say i'm getting a sweet deal. Anybody got any unwanted microphones taking up valuable space in your homes? Give them to me.

In a related story, Dave and i, under the superior guidence of Jason Holstrum, recorded drum tracks for two songs that are going to be on the upcoming Aqueduct full length (to be released in early 2005). i didn't think i was going to be on that record at all, so i'm really excited about it. That's a bit of a ways off, but fret not kids, the EP Pistols At Dawn is set for release on October 12th. And it looks like we're going to play CMJ that week too. We are living in very exciting times. Oh yeah, i don't think i've even written this yet: Aqueduct has been signed to Barsuk Records. This is good because Barsuk is noting short of being one of the greatest labels in the Milky Way Galaxy.

i think the only other thing i have to say is make sure you're registered; i want you to vote. good day.

(feel free to enjoy all of the above links. they are there for you)

Back in Seattle...

2004-09-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

it's life as i knew it, only visits home always leave me wanting someting. Actually several things.

First, i do feel wierd being the one far away, but i'm glad i am where i am; Texas just isn;t so great once you've experienced the Northwest. But imiss my fam and wish i could be with them more.

Second, i don't really have any sense of community up here yet. Don't get me wrong, i've got some of the most incredible friends i think i could ask for, but not a community that i really feel dependent and depended on. (and in reality, i'm not looking for depednence, but you know what i mean, more like other folks who aid me as i aid them down life's journey)

Third, whatever else it is that i can't put simply into words. Mainly because i need to get off the computer. But thanks, joshua and kristen, for listening to my crap and confusion. you two are more inspiring to me than you're ever likely to know.

And i will say this: it was a great trip

goin' down south

2004-08-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

ben walking most mornings for the past week. i have plenty of free time in my day, so i make them long walks. Ranging from one to two hours. i Just got back from today's walk and i feel quite nice. But i gotta say that walking across busy bridges gets kinda scary; i like to look down at the water and the neighborhoods, but if i don't watch where i'm going, i'm bound to trip and fall into oncoming traffic. So maybe i'll stick with the bridges of lesser traffic from now on.

So, the real point of this post is to announce:

Fayettevillians, come to the Tulsa Overground Film Festival after party on Friday, August 27th. Aqueduct is playing and it will be a super good time. i think the afterparty is free, the festival is $8 per day. Fo those of you so out of touch with dates (like me) that is THIS WEEKEND! Stay the night and go back to the festival on Saturday. i dare you. i'd like to see some people.

okay, forget the fries this time

2004-08-21T23:37:00.000-07:00

Oh how i love the Documentary. it is now the official postition of us here at Powerstrip that the Documentary is the most beneficial form of film/television available to mankind. In this time of unscripted entertainment, like Reality TV, it seems only natural that people are craving something true, something actual, something relevant. But they usually get fake, staged, and predetermined crap anyway, so the whole thing is still a mess.

Ahh, but the Documentary holds strong because it is not competing with Elim-a-date and the Surreal Life for ratings. It's an observation and study of life rather thatn a mockery of it. One that encourages greatness and exposes corruption. It reminds us sho we are and what we're trying to do. Anyway, it's good.

Tonight i saw Super-Size Me.

hope you brought some french fries

2004-08-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

another month almost past without much to say. My apologies. But this week's been an interesting one; i've been struck multiple times with the realization that i avoid real conversation with people because i feel like they don't want to have real conversations. i feel like all they want to do is act silly and say funny things and dance and get really excited about things that don't really matter at all, all because it's a party and that's how you're supposed to be. And it's just my desire to be liked that causes me to act like that, because what i really want is to be myself and get to know other people. It's just a bummer because the only way i ever meet people in the city is by going to parties. And i'm not a big partier. So what the crap am i saying here? i think i haven't blogged (or emailed or called) substantially for a while because i have assumed that no one wants to have really conversations about real life. And in real life i'm not always happy, and i don't always have strong faith or even love for God, and in real life i still can't quite grasp how Jesus really fits into the picture (please don't anybody freak out by that statement), and in real life i am one third of the way through a program for anxiety and depression,and in real life i don't know how to think about much else. And people ask me "what's new?" at a party. What am i supposed to say to that? "Just workin' ." In real life i want real living.

i've started to wonder about life in general lately. Are we all just living so that we can get by until we die, and if so, man that sucks. If the after life is the real life, then what;s this life for at all. i still think that this life means something, but also that it's pretty meaningless in the long run. Ahhh. If we're just trying to get by, and by that i mean work to eat, work to play, hopefully meet someone you can make babies with so they can grow up and do it all over again. So if we're just trying to get by, and a lot seem to be, then life sucks. But if this time between birth an death has any significance whatsoever, then it is worth making good. It's worth the risk of looking like a fool to have a little passion. i don't know for sure about eternity, but i am certain that the life i live can and should consist of more than the tiresome "just workin'."

if you made it this far, thank you. i want to give you a big hug and i plan to. The next time you see me, remind me about it and i will give you a big, real hug.

And to anybody i've lost contact with lately, i still love you and want to keep our friendships alive. i'm just a jerk who doesn't know how to communicate very well.

This has been a bizzare stream of conciousness post. It's just as weird to me as it must be to you, so no, i'm not losing my mind. life's just messy sometimes. like ketchup.

the cleansing rain

2004-08-06T12:23:00.000-07:00

it's reaining in Seattle this morning, and i don't mean just typical Seattle drizzle, it's a long, steady rain with big drops. And i love it! We haven't really had rain in probably 2 months, maybe three, so it's a very welcome sight (and sound).

great show last night. we've got real fans, it's nice to hear the audience sing your songs and not recognize all the faces that are singing.

studio fever

2004-08-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

oh how i love recording studios, and more imprtantly, how i love recording in them. Last night was a crash course studio session at the Seattle art intitute's Studio A. We had 4 hours to load in, set up (that means mics too), wait for the engineer to get all her stuff ready, eat a pizza, record a song, tear doun, pack up, get out. The building automatically shuts down at midnight, so if you're in certain places you might be stuck there all night. Kinda stupid if you ask me. We didn't get to the guitar or vocal tracks, but Dave has a chance to go back tomorrow and finish. But anyway, i wanted to emphasize my love for being in the studio. i just love the recording process and all its possibilities.

alright, this just in... i got off work from the 26th to the 31st of august. Family and friends in the southern region, this concerns you. Aqueduct is playing a film festival in Tulsa on friday the 27th, and i'm flying to dallas the next day. i fly back to Seattle on the 31st, so... i know i'll see my family, i hope i can see some friends. i've written enough for one day.

it takes a village

2004-08-01T19:03:00.000-07:00

i just got back from seeing M. Night Shyamalan(malamadingdong)'s latest movie, The Village. And in keeping with typical Andrew Rudd style, i won't say much about this movie so that you, yes You, can go see it for yourself. You are going to see it for yourself, right? Well, when you do see it, you can thank me for not saying anything about it. that is all....about that

lastr night, Wes, David, Noah, Shane, and myself went to a party at Bear Creek Studio and had a really good time. We walked around the property, enjoying free food and good beverage, and then got a personal tour of the studio. Wow, it's a cool place. just check out the site if you're interested in that sort of thing...eh'mm, uh Taylor. One little bit of trivia: we played a super crappy game of pool there, in the same room that Soundgarden recorded their album Badmotorefinger. Pretty cool.

Well, tomorrow we go into the studio. Wait, no not that studio. A different studio at the Seattle Art Institute. This lady who works at the restaurant connected to my bakery is in adio school there and needs to record a full band, so i naturally took and will take any opportunity to get into a recording studio. We're recording a new song, so new in fact, that i heard it for the first time just last night. i'm really looking forward to it. ok, see you.

Ramble On

2004-07-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

i've been on a HUgE Led Zeppelin kick for the past three days, and i feel great. Nothing like some true rock gods (and great musicians at that) to remind you that music is amazing. And also top remind me that i need to practice. During my first years as a drum set player, way back in early high school, i would put on some headphones and play along (poorly) with Zeppelin records, trying to absorb even an ounce of the incredible talent of John Bonham. It payed off then, and it payed off this morning. Last night i warned dave, who likes to sleep late, that i'd be drumming in the morning. It was a blast, but equally important, it was so educational too. i've been thinking about teaching lessons again, and it's becoming clear that i've got a lot of my own practicing to do. But i'm pretty excited about it all. cheers to you if you got the title of this post

holy hell

2004-07-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

i've watched it twice now and can say that most of my friends, really everybody, should see this movie. Hell House is a documentary about this church in Cedar Hill, Tx, just outside Dallas, and the alternative haunted house they put on each October. I'm sure you can rent it from most "Good" movie rental places, though it may take a little effort to find. It's not that i want to stir up hateful emotions towards southern churches, which is easy to do, i just think it's a perspective worth viewing from. The perspective of the filmmaker, that is. And to my friends and family in the north/central texas area, i'd be very interested in your thoughts about this place, should you decide to venture out there this October. i may write more about this movie later, but now i have to go eat at Tacos Guymas. Arrrrrriba!!

week 2

2004-07-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

now that i've been going through this anxiety/depression program for about a week, i guesss it's time to express some initial thoughts. For the most part i think it is really great, as far as identifying problems, where they are rooted, realizing that this is pretty common and i'm not alone, that sort of thing. But there are plenty of negative thoughts passing through my brain a lot of the time. Thoughts like this isn't going to work for me, or i'm to impatient and not really getting the benefits i could from this if i'd just slow down ....blah blah. But the funny(and reassuring) thing is how thorough they are. Even these thoughts have been addressed. Most people tend to have an elevated amount of anxiety after the first week, and and tend to think that they aren't going to be helped by the program. A lot of accepting has to go on. And is going on. And this is, i suppose, progress. It's funny, i'm beginning week 2 of fifteen, and on the one hand, i feel like this is going to last forever, but on the other hand, the worrisome impatient hand, i feel like it's almost over and i'm not satisfied with the results. Huh. i realize that it's not almost over and that the changes wil take time, But i'm starting to see just how powerful all this negative self-talk can be.

good day for a swim

2004-07-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

next time you rent a canoe for a nice day on the lake, listen to where the guy tells you not to go. My friend, Rebecca, and i went out yesterday on Lake Washington and had a great time. The little bay area next to the U-Dub (university of washington) campus is quite peaceful, calm, and beautiful. The rest of the lake, however, is huge, deep, and really choppy. This made for a fun ride as we had lots of wake to fly over and splash down from. But you're bound to get tired and need a rest after a while. So here we are stretched out in the canoe, chatting away and totaly relaxed, when a rather sizeable wave connects directly parallel with our boat and we go flying out of it. Good thing is that we had life jackets. Bad thing is that we were sitting ON them rather than IN them, so i just start saying, "Put your life jacket on, put your life jacket on, put your life...." Life jackets on and somehow all of our posessions accounted for, we jsut float for a while, laughing histerically. After several minutes, we realize how far we are from shore (and i mean FAR) so we try to come up with a plan. Several flips of the boat later, we realize that there's no way to get the water out of it, so we start swimming toward the shore, dragging the boat. i didn't say that we were getting any closer to the shore, just that we were swimming in the direction of it. All hope of doing this on our own lost, i scan around for passing boats. And laugh a lot more. Eventually a boat is in view, so i wave once, twice, three times a maybe, wait i think, yes, yes they see us! As the boat circles around, Rebecca tosses her purse into the canoe/water trough, and i flip the canoe to dump the water almost instantly. Bye bye purse. Thankfully she had grabbed her keys out and clipped them to her belt loop just after we flipped. So, canoe in tow and us wrapped in towels in the boat of our recuers, we enjoy a beer, a lot of laughs, and a friendly and grateful chat with the family that picked us up. Just so you know, Lake Washington now lives inside my cell phone so i'm going to have to get a new one. Feel free to call me at 254.640.0497 and leave your phone number so i can replace my lengthy list of contacts. Sadly, rebecca's phone and lots of other stuff was in her purse. But she's a really good sport and didn't freak out about that. Well, that's all for now.

Extra Money in my Pocket

2004-07-16T13:05:00.000-07:00

Well, Brent left Seattle ths morning at 7:45. By now he's in Vancouver and hopefully enjoying the crap out it. It was great to have him here for as long as we did, even though it still seemed short. While he as here, he and i went to the EMP (experience music project) near downtown. It's basically a Rock and Roll museum in a big colorful building that looks like a pile of dirty laundry, which is of course a common sight in the world of Rock and Roll. Or at least my world. i have to say it was a fun time; the EMP has lots of cool stuff and some entertaining, yet elementary, interactive and educational areas. i waould recommend it to lots of folks if it weren't for the $20 admission price. Well, considering that no one here ion Seattle reads this, i don't really need to go on.

Aqueduct is playing a birthday party disguised as a Prom tomorrow night. i wish we still had real bands play at real proms, but this is a pretty good step in making up for bad prom dj's. We've worked up a few cover songs to help insure some sweet dancing.

And for those who don't know, Brent is on a month-long train trip from minneapolis to seattle, across canada to maine, and back, so keep him in your prayers and drop him an email if you wish. arrhythmia77@hotmail.com

ok, see you

still there?

2004-07-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

wow, sorry it's been so long; i feel like every post begins with that. Anyway, things are going well, Brent's in town until Friday and hanging out with him is always fun. My family was up here a souple weeks ago and we did all sorts of stuff, including kyaking with Killer Whales! yeah, it was unbelieveable. For photos, check out Joshua and Kristen's blog. They've got good shots of just how close we were. i miss you, family.

But now, the show must go on. So, i ordered that attacking anxiety program after all. It's been an interesting week, waiting for it to arrive (which took like nine days), wondering what it will be like and if it will help. But also, i've felt a sense of excitement knowing that i'm taking a step towards recovery. It really is going to be a journey, and a challenging one i'm sure.
The package arrived yesterday, and i looked over all the contents before i went to bed. It looks good. i'll keep you posted.

lots of words to come

2004-06-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry, if anyone still reads this thing, i haven't written in a while. i guess i'm in the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" mode. Not that life is all that bad or anything. We played a good show monday night. In fact, Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie came to the show, and reall liked it. Some folks said it was our best performance yet. And this is good.

i just don't feel relaxed. At home or at work, alone or with other folks. It's hard to say when was the last time i truly enjoyed myself. And tis has been happening for several years, so it's nothing new. But lately i've felt like it doesn't have to stay this way. i know there's help out there for anxiety and depression, but i have the hardest time finding a place to start. For one, i'm incredibly cynical, and feel like most treatments are not purely for the benefit of the patient. Therefore i'm pretty cautious when it comes to just jumping on the first thing i see. But this tendency also holds me back from actually taking that step... i could go on like this for a while.

But i've found something (on a late night info-mercial of course) that really intrigues me. It's a program called Attacking Anxiety and Depression, and it's through a company called the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety. The cynic in me laughed at the people being interviewed, but the rest of me really related to what they were saying. So i've done some checking up on the program and have found an abundance of positive feedback, and that's putting it lightly. If anybody knows anything about it, your comments are strongly welcomed. It seems like a good program, and while i'm not pumped about swallowing my pride and asking for help, i AM ready to move on with my life. And that means eating lunch. Thanks for reading this grossly long post.

dancing nuts

2004-06-14T16:50:00.000-07:00

So i got this postcard in the mail today. i didn't realize it would turn into such an ordeal. Check this out so i don't have to sum it up for you. there's a picture of the card and a whole lot more.

athletic supporter?

2004-06-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

yeah it's stupid, but i am kind of entertained by these online surveys:

i am open-minded!

How indie are you? test by ridethefader

You're pretty knowledgeable about music in general. You like indie music, sure, but that's only part of it.
You'll listen to any old shit as long as it sounds good to you. You're not snobby about music at all, you
just like what you like. How boring. Curiously, this makes you popular with the opposite sex.

not all of it applies to me, but hey, if it says i'm popular with the ladies, it can't be all that bad.

i'm wathching the stupid LA Lakers and the not stupid Detroit Pistons right now. if ou like the Lakers, i can't be your friend.

where i been at?

2004-06-03T13:35:00.000-07:00

ok, now hat i'm back from the tour, i can show off:

create your own personalized map of the USA
or write about it on the open travel guide

Only twelve states to go. How is it that i never made it to the Carolinas?!

well, we've got a show tonight at the Crocodile; should be a fun one. The other bands are both from Seattle and are supposed to be good. Tomorrow we play in Anicortes with U.S.E. again. It's kinda like we're still on the road. Never any rest, but that's a good thing.

pressing on

2004-06-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

It may be surprising and it may not, but i think i have depression of some sort. Most of the time, i feel anxious and worried, and and tend to make a big deal of things that aren't necessarily important. i guess i'm saying this because so far, this blog has not really been a journal, with my feelings and thoughts, but an update page for other people to read little bits of my life. It is a good way to toss messages back and forth, but i guess i want everybody to know what's really going on. So don't be surprised if i get a little more honest here.
i think i should talk to a therapist. Most of you know i have had a pretty stressful past, and even though i'm out of it, i never really let go of it. In fact, i hold on to it pretty tightly. Letting go is hard, though, and i think some proffessional help might not be a bad thing.
This tour helped put things into perspective quite a bit. Music is what i love and do best. Now that i'm actually doing it, i want to free myself from the messes i keep getting caught up in. So we'll see what happens, i guess.
And i think i'm going to go to a church on sunday. hope i find one that doesn't suck (insert online smiley face picture). Alright, later

4016 Wallingford Ave N

2004-06-01T12:10:00.001-07:00

i'm back home! it felt pretty strange to drive up to the house sunday morning, like i was visiting relatives or something. But now i definately feel at home again. i won't say too much, even though i could. the tour was great, both musically and personally, and i can honestly say that i can;t wait for the next trip. i've come back to seattle with a new motivation, not only as a musician, but as a Seattlite as well. i realized how great this city is and how much exploring i have yet to do here. There's a U.S.E. song (that's the band we toured with) called Emerald City and it's all about how much they love Seattle. As we drove out of the Cascades and approached our home, that song came into my head and i couldn't wait to be there. it was a beautiful sunny day and the lake was full of boats as we crossed the floating bridge into the city.

PLUS: i go back to work tomorrow. my boss called about an hour ago and asked when i could start. evidently the gut they hired to work while i was gone turned out to be a dreadful worker, so he's outta there. i get all my old shifts back! ok that's enouhg typing.

seaweed, huh?

2004-05-13T09:44:00.001-07:00

last night was a night to remember. we played Denton, Tx, and i got to spend quality time wit my family (minus dad but i still like him too. he's in michigan recording the new Rhythm and Brass record). Judah and i got reaquainted and she is unbelieveable.
Due to van troubles, we are home based in waco right now, but the van should be ready by 1pm and we'll head up to Norman, OK. Did i mention how super incredible Judah is?
to my fayetteville folks, i count the days until we shall see each other's smiling faces again. one ah, ah, ah two, ah ah ah , three ah, ah, ah, ah... and U.S.E. is getting even more awsome. you guys have to come to JR's early enough to see them.

2004-05-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

back in the desert

2004-05-10T10:43:00.000-07:00

kinkos
albequrkie
cool show last night, thouhg not very crowded. tonight dave and i are going to marfa, tx. it's a small town in west texas that is supposed to have a lot of col modern art and some strange natural light tht appear on the sky at night. pictures wlll be taken. alright, kinkos has taken enough of my money. i say good day.

Ha HA GEEKS!

2004-05-06T13:34:00.000-07:00

instore perfcormance at sea level records - empty
korean BBQ with aqueduct's biggest fan - delicioso!
asian arcade - outrageous
bar hopping among LA hipsters - surreal
porn star and her entourage getting into her car down the block - large
the people on sunset strip - toooo cool
LA is LA

Los Angeles

2004-05-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

Michael Buckner is making me bacon and waffles. Last night was the first of four shows in LA, and so far i really like this city. i know, it's LA and you're supposed to hate it because it's supposed to suck, but man, where else can a guy play a decent rock show, attend a highly exclusive underground old school arcade bar called "Barcade, " and end the night at Toi, the Rock nd Roll Thai restaurant. This city is all about themes.

Well the tour is off and running, with crap shows in Portland, Sacramento, and (slightly less crappy) Reno. i have to say, Sacremento has nothing to offer. Don't go there. You will be pissed. Or the waitress/barista/mean girl willl be pissed at you for asking her two questions in a row. it hurts her.
But our spirits are high, and the people we've met have been great, really great. We got called Geeks really loud by a passing driver/stranger in Reno. ok, i've got to play Mario Cart with dave now. more to come. out

WE ARE SO GONE!

2004-04-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

hope to see you on the road. i'll try to keep random upates if i can. i know they won't be regular.

on leave

2004-04-28T00:10:00.000-07:00

last day of work today. starting tomorrow i'm a full time gigging musician. for one month anyway.

i wanna be a toys r us kid

2004-04-26T14:05:00.000-07:00

well, i did some budgeting, and i can knock new shoes and tshirts off the list today. i don't get new stuff too often, but when i do it's pretty exciting. it's the only way to keep myself slightly above the starving artist level of poverty. looks like i'll have a good $200 in my pocket when we leave. good thing the band is paying for food.

last days

2004-04-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

today is my last day off before we leave town. the list of things to do is pretty long, but manageable.
got to: practice, clean up house, do laundry, do finances, grocery run, practice, eat, and soon...bathe.
want to: buy new shoes, get a hair cut, practice, buy a couple tshirts at old navy (trust me, they are great for wearing several days in a row. i'm thinking logically)

we made new buttons last night for the tour. get ready. no, really, prepare yourselves for this one.

yesterday was perhaps the most gorgeous day since i've been here. i walked a ways to a music shop for tour supplies and just didn'y want to go home. but i knew we were practicing, so i went. later we saw Kill Bill vol. 2. Definately a good choice, although it was not outdoors.

i'm getting very excited about touring and music in general. this dream is still alive.

who should i blame for this sweet and heavy trouble?

2004-04-24T22:36:00.000-07:00

i can't say it like i sing it
i can't sing it like i think it
i can't think it like i feel it
and i don't feel a thing

i am not smart

2004-04-18T13:52:00.000-07:00

to anyone who listened to me and didnt relize that they should always question what i say, aqueduct is playing fayetteville on SATURDAY MAY 15th. not thursday may 15th, because thursday may 15th doesn't exist this year. so go to the show on SATURDAY MAY 15th. i want to see you and hug you and rock for you. lo0ve andrew

party number four, but no aqueduct tonight

2004-04-18T11:45:00.000-07:00

went to a house party last night to see U.S.E. last night. since we're going to spend a month of our lives with them, i thought it would be good to A)meet them and B)show some mother-grabbin' support. i only managed to meet 2 of them, and it was to crowded in the basement to see or even get in to see them, but i'm glad we went. amanda (i think) and noah were great folks and i'm looking forward to our future endeavors. noah's a hugger, i've always been a fan of huggers, they're usually infectuously nice.

out

stinking lenny's

2004-04-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

my tax file was rejected. they said one of my employers' ID numbers is wrong, but i double checked and all's well on my front. methinks it's all Lenny's fault. im not sure what to do at this point, but i'll figure it out. stinking lenny's!

in other news, found out that my family is all comeing to visit in june! and there was much rejoicing.

basic arithmetic

2004-04-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

"I feel strongly that the course this administration has taken will make America more secure and the world more free, and therefore the world more peaceful. It's a conviction that's deep in my soul." -el Presidente de los Estados Unidos

i just want you to know what he's saying.
so iraq is supposed to start governing itself on june 30th. i guess we'll see what making "the world more free" is going to be like. i don't really know what to say about all this, but it doesn't sit very well with me. i mean, does (secure america) + (more free world) = (more peaceful world)? what's a more secure america, the PATRIOT ACT? HOMELAND SECURITY? what's a more free world? is freedom the same thing as forcing a country into a new style of government? because that's what it weems like the bush admn is doing.

all i'm really saying here is that i am generally opposed to what's going on in iraq, and pretty concerned with how it's going to pan out. in the mean time i'm just trying to learn what i can and follow my heart.
mr. pres, world peace is not a math equation.

uhhhhhh bush

2004-04-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

i'm still in the middle of reading this, but i'm putting it here if any body else wants to learn from our president's head.

just a quote: "freedom is the Almighty's gift to every man and woman in this world. And as the greatest power on the face of the Earth, we have an obligation to help the spread of freedom."

anyway, more later

the glass was half empty/ until i got thirsty

2004-04-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

i'm not sure which received more attention last night, aqueduct or the mustache. either way, people were diggin' what we/the stache were doing up on stage. it seems that several folks actually came specifically to see us, even some who we didn't know! it wa a great show.

gotta do taxes today. i hope caesar gives unto andrew what is andrew's.

duct and cover

2004-04-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

alright, tonight is another aqueduct show. we'll see how much seattle loves us when they have to pay a cover charge.

take time with a wounded hand

2004-04-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

i saw eternal sunshine the other night. the cool part is that the guys from The Mars Volta were sitting right behind us. the even cooler part is that i was watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. i recommend seeing this movie instead of the other movie you wanted to see.

i still have a mustache.

sculpture

2004-04-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

i have a mustache. it is perhaps the biggest mistake i have ever made. but in life we make choices and must live with the consequences. i completely understand if any of you never speak to me again. farewell.

aqueduct tour updates!

2004-04-07T12:46:00.000-07:00

just confirmed, here's a list of dates and venues you may be interested in:

4.30 eugene, OR indigo district
(LA, tempe, albuquerque...)
5.11 austin, TX emo's
5.12 denton, TX j & j's on the square
5.13 norman, OK the opolis
5.14 tulsa, OK ikon
5.15 FAYETTEVILLE, ar jr's
5.17 colombia, MO mojo
5.20 chicago, IL schubas

so there you go, see this whole playing in a band thing wasn't just a load of crap. good day. i said good day.

a rephrasing

2004-04-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

i re read my pissed off at televangelists blog just now, and thought that my last statement could sound strange. "i'm so blessed and i hardly ever see it" didn't mean hey look how great i am. i just meant that i don't often enough stop to realize all the blessings i have been given. i am alive, healthy, and able to pursue my dreams. how amazing is that? i need to live with more gratitude.

in other news, aqueduct is seattle's newest party craze. we played our second party last night (as a two piece, just dave and me). the people loved it and we got many new fans. we also got offered to play at another party. play a party/get a party. this is how things have worked so far.

to my dallas siblings and their offspring, i wish i could be with you during your transition to the new house.
and to my waco sibling and our parental units, wassahoho!
i miss my kin

i live next to a volcano.

2004-04-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

i saw it again today. the mountain is huge. the man is lego-sized.

reason #32

2004-04-02T00:47:00.000-08:00

there were about 40 middle-aged drag queens in the restaurant at work tonight. and they say it happens every month. i love seattle.

losing sleep

2004-04-01T12:36:00.000-08:00

i was this close )( to calling up robert tilton's televangelist hotline last at 4am and letting whoever was on the other end have the ole what for. that douchebag was telling people to pledge a minimum of $1000 even if they didn't have it, and basically claiming that God would shower faithful givers with material blessings. shame on you bob. they interviewed a woman who told her "success story" how God blessed her with a house, a van, and a big wooden (specifically not plastic) clubhouse for her daughter (because that was the only thing that would make her daughter happy). the woman actually said, "we can't live in poverty and have an effective witness for God." so i guess all you poor folk out there aren't christian enough to know the full extent of God's checkbook. you certainly could be giving more. so give a tousand, in faith, to sir robert the snake, and see what god will buy for you.
now i'm calm. what upsets me about all this junk is how these programs appeal to financially frustrated people who are more thatn likely depressed or stressed out; they are watching tv at 4am after all. we are offered hope, love, and deliverance from our state of poverty from the God we thought we knew. but they quickly tell us that we are in a rut because we have not been faithful givers, and if we'd simply pick up the phone (and give 100's of dollars we don't have) then God will welcome us back into his loving arms. but more importantly, he'll buy us that stuff we wanted.
anyone who looks at these frauds and doesn't see greed dripping off their perfect hair, down their flawless clothing, and out into their exagerated studio sets (all paid for by faith offerings i'm sure) are just the kind of sad suckers these assholes are fishing for. fishers of men indeed.

i am so blessed and i hardly ever see it. take care everybody.

rockeduct

2004-03-31T12:46:00.000-08:00

aqueduct has a show tonight. another opportunity to melt some faces with our god-like rock poses. that is, if anyone comes.
now, to make you all jealous, i have burned copies of both the new pedro the lion and wilco records. wes is a great roommate!

return of the word "swank"

2004-03-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

finally saw some jazz last night. kate and i went to check out this jazz club the triple door downtown. it was, unfortunately, a good example of the things i don't like about jazz. every piece of furniture was black including the bar, sleek sharp edges on everything, giant fish tank full of neon tetra behind the band. jazz may never recover from being raped by the eghties. then we found out that this ws just the lobby/bar area. the actual hall was pretty cool. we heard jazz renditions of No Quarter by led zeppelin, God Put a Smile Upon Your Face by coldplay, and radiohead's Everything In Its Right Place, but they also threw in a wayne sorter and mingus tune to satisfy my classic side. it's been said that jazz is dead. i think it's just hiding.

cuz i'm black y'all, i mean... back y'all

2004-03-25T11:15:00.000-08:00

sorry it's been so long. rosie visited last week and i didn't get on the computer because computers are not as cool as friends. we tackled the seattle bus system and got good deals on food by buying in bulk. salmon anyone? oh yeah, and we discovered a near perfect bar - fat tire on tap cheap, monopoly pinball, and 25cent pool tables. and it's just around the corner.
got a job finally. i am now the official baker of quiche and croissants and barista at the wallingford bakery. it's 4 blocks from my house! the people are, the food is, the hours are:
great.
aqueduct is playing a house party this saturday.

forgetting my reflection

2004-03-08T10:38:00.000-08:00

i want to be less like a christian and more like jesus. i have no shame in the name of jesus, but there are plenty of times that the title "christian" makes me uneasy. who do we have to prove ourselves to anyway? this is not a f- the man rebellious statement, it's an honest question. all i want is to live openly, sincerely, truthfully, and deliberately. oh yeah, and i also want to have sex some day; see that's honest.

anyway, i miss my family and friends today, and want to kiss judah a lot. anyone who hasn't seen pictures of her should go to the judah fan club to witness all her cuteness.

i saw ester drang here last night. they amaze me on so many levels: musicians, band, generally rad guys, perseverers...
they're coming to a town near you. go see them, and it will be called good.

right now in this galaxy...

2004-03-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

the rebel alliance. no it's not star wars, it's real. i didn't investigate too much cuz i'm skeerd (that's scared). but if you want, check out this blog network: rebel alliance

i'll take the pacifier with the skull and crossbones

2004-03-06T17:44:00.000-08:00

Aaron and i finally hung out today.

which reminds me, i went t an all ages punk rock show a few nights ago with wes and kate. actually we went to see Lucero, but the other bands were very punk. anyway, we saw this couple who had brought their kid who couldn't have been older than four. and i thought, that's great!
and really, isn't it? just because people have kids doesn't mean they should stop doing what they like to do. i need evidence like this that tells me not everyone is running off to suburbia. it encourages me. and it's just plain cool. i mean a punk rock toddler, how sweet is that?
this is also a reflection of joshua and kristen and judah, them folks is really somethin'

if it's not one thing it's another

2004-03-06T11:10:00.000-08:00

it's amazing how creative you can be when you don't want to job hunt anymore. i was about to head out the door yesterday, when i was sudden ly compelled to record one of my old songs-full band style. so i transformed the basement into a makeshift studio, selected an old Gretsch hollowbody electric guitar from dave's impressive collection, and got to know my four-track recorder a little better. it may sound like procrastinating to some, but i learned a lot and it was really fun.

plus i'm waiting on two jobs that both look very promising. if i sound hopeful, i am. but they are both hiring and i fit their needs well.

another day in the process

2004-03-03T14:55:00.000-08:00

taylor, you are a good man.

played our third show as Seattle's resident Aqueduct last night. once agaain, good show and great news. we can expect pretty consistent booking here in town now, and the tour planning is coming along nicely.

as for a job, i've spent the last two days on foot, traveling many miles i'm sure, looking for employment. there are at least two pretty strong possibilities, but time will tell. but on ething is certain, two days of sunshine, two feet, and one perspiring forehead equals happy andrew. this is a beautiful city.